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December 13, 2014
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What do your Dreams Mean? (Video Included)

What do you dreams mean? How can you work with them for your own good?

Your dreams give you important messages about what may need attention in your waking life.  Have you experienced this?

In this video Ora North and I chat about how you can work with your dreams for your benefit.

Comment below — Do have experience with working with your dreams? What did you learn from this video?

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November 20, 2014
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Interview with Barbra Ignatiev

Interview with Barbra Ignatiev

I met Barbra, a painter living in Oakland, CA, during a business program a few years back. I liked her style and she became my accountability buddy for the next year. As a painter, she uses color to help people draw out what is vibrant about themselves. Currently, she is working on a series of figure study paintings that explore expressive movement and color combinations.

 

Painting by Barbra Ignatiev

Painting by Barbra Ignatiev

 

Isn’t her work gorgeous? I wanted all of you to meet her too, so I asked her a few questions so you and I can get to know her better. Because she’s awesome, Barbra also agreed to make a fun and inspiring wallpaper to help keep you positive throughout the day. It can be downloaded at the end of this post.

But first, the questions!

1) Many readers are interested in what makes a good relationship work. Can you tell us your recipe for a good relationship?

For almost 10 years, my husband and I have had a relationship built on silliness and ridiculousness so that helps. I think not taking yourself too seriously helps with just about any relationship. Many of the world’s problems could be solved just with a good laugh, just maybe…

I also like to set up expectations for things on a daily basis so we’re both on the same page. Conflicting expectations can really screw up any moment.

Oh and don’t forget communication that is honest and meaningful and not all about you.

I think all of this applies to any relationship, not just romantic ones.

2) What’s your go-to activity (or non activity) when you are feeling stressed?

10 minute dance party (by myself but whatever!) I also use painting as a way to meditate myself out of my brain and into the moment.

3) What makes you happiest in life?

Feeling connected and helping people.

4) What is the first thing you normally think of when you wake up?

Usually “OK what kind of coffee am I going to make myself?”

I like to get creative with my coffee routine by steeping lavender buds, soaking a cinnamon stick or making a Mexican mocha with cayenne, chocolate sauce and cinnamon. I love to herb and spice things up. It’s a ritual for me.

5) What is your cat Foo really like?

Hehe the best cat EVAR. Very sweet and kittenish, even though she’s an elderly lady. She loves to cuddle and have brush time. She reminds me to just chill out and enjoy life.

6) What do you love most about making your own designs?

Expressing myself to the world. Hopefully brightening someone’s day. Color has amazing benefits – and it’s pretty much free!

And, as promised, here is the bonus wallpaper Barbra has created for us.

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If you’d like to hear more from Barbra, you can follow her on Instagram or Twitter under the name @ifneedB. You can also sign up to receive emails of her daily paintings or visit her website at www.ifneedb.com.

Signed up for ‘Kick Start Your Breakup” yet? – It’s Free!

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November 12, 2014
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Relationship Advice from Fashion Blogger, Kathleen Harper

Relationship Advice from Fashion Blogger, Kathleen Harper

If you are a fan of fashion and style blogs, you might have heard of Kathleen Harper, the woman behind Kat’s Fashion Fix. Recently, I had the chance to ask Kathleen a few questions about fashion, long-distance relationships, and interracial dating. Her answers were both honest and full of good advice. Check them out!

Fashion blogger Kathleen Harper talks about her experiences with long distance relationships, interracial dating, and fashion.

 1) Short Bio:

Hi everyone! My name is Kathleen and I’m a 22 year-old fashion blogger from Chicago. I’m currently  a senior at Elon University, which is located in North Carolina. Although I’m presently living in the  South, I’m a city girl through and through. I love Chicago and I’ve also lived in LA and New York  City for a short period of time. Obviously fashion is a huge passion of mine and in LA and NY I was lucky enough to get internships in the industry. In fact this past summer I worked for The Daily Front Row, the official magazine of New York Fashion Week, and it was a blast. I got to attend movie premiers, red carpet events, interview movie stars, and even go to a ball – how cool is that? In May I’m moving back to The Big Apple to pursue a career in fashion journalism – wish me luck! I started my beloved blog, Kat’s Fashion Fix, in 2012 as a creative outlet for me to be able to share my love of fashion with friends. Sharing my style and my life with my followers has turned out to be a very rewarding experience and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

2) How did you and your boyfriend meet?

I always have so much fun telling this story! I can give you the long version or the short version, but in the interest of not making everyone read a novel, I’ll make this short but sweet . So my boyfriend, Antonio, and I are high school sweethearts. We knew each other since freshman year but we never actually spoke until senior year. I like to compare our story to a movie or some cheesy tween romance novel. I always thought he was the hottest guy in school. At the risk of sounding cliché, I admired him from afar and never even dreamed that we would ever be anything more than schoolmates. He was, of course, the star athlete of the school; varsity football, varsity basketball, and captain of the varsity track team. It’s safe to say that he was one of the most popular guys in our high school of 3,000. And then there’s me. It’s not like I was unpopular by any means, but I definitely was not at his level. We didn’t hangout in the same crowds and for the longest time I didn’t even think he knew who I was.

So that was our situation for three years. My close friends knew I had the biggest crush on him but I never pursued it because in my mind it was like having a crush on a celebrity – you know nothing will ever come of it, it’s just fun to dream. I was also a dancer in high school. I was on our varsity dance team, the Starlettes, and every homecoming the dancers perform a dance with the senior football players for the big pep rally. Us seniors got to pick our football players and of course I thought about choosing Antonio but convinced myself that it would be so weird and creepy because we had never talked. So I settled on choosing a guy that I took French class with. Enter my best friend, Amanda. She said I had to dance with Antonio because it’s senior year and hey, YOLO. She made a good point – no regrets, right? So long story short (this is getting lengthy), Antonio and I practiced together and performed our dance together in front of the whole school and it was nothing short of incredible.

Again, I’m so cheesy but it’s my favorite high school memory! I knew right away that he was special and I couldn’t have been more right. We talked for a while after the whole pep rally thing but nothing really developed until basketball season rolled around. As dancers we had to decorate a basketball player’s locker, and although I was assigned someone else at first, as fate would have it, I eventually ended up with Antonio (I think Amanda had something to do with that). So I started decorating Antonio’s locker on Fridays, and in February I finally had the guts to really go after what I wanted. On a whim I asked him to our Sadie Hawkins dance. After the best high school dance of our lives, he asked me to prom. And we’ve been together ever since. I knew this was the real deal just from the fact that I was never nervous around him. I always completely myself and felt 100 percent comfortable.

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3) What’s it like to be in a relationship with someone from a different race in 2014?

Antonio’s black and I’m white. And honestly, I think interracial dating is more common than people think. Based off of where we went to school and where we’re from, it was not unusual at all. We grew up around a lot of diversity and it’s just something that we didn’t pay too much attention to. Coming to school in the South though, a lot of my friends were surprised that my boyfriend’s black. I’ve never had an outright negative reaction though. It was just kind of like, “Woah, I didn’t expect that.” But when we lived together in New York this summer it was really great because there are so many interracial couples in that city. Neither of us has ever felt uncomfortable. I think in 2014 people are a lot more accepting, and that the negative stigma attached to interracial dating isn’t as strong as it was in the 20th century. I mean hey, love is love! A lot more people get that now.

4) Can you give advice for other gals doing the long distance thing?

Oh man. Long distance is so hard, but that’s not to say it’s not worth it. It definitely is worth it, but only if you’re with the right person. It takes a very strong couple to be able to handle it. Antonio and I have been doing long distance on and off for over three years – I go to school in NC and he stayed in IL. After two years I got frustrated with our situation so Antonio transferred to my school. That definitely earned him the boyfriend of the year award! But after only one semester he had to go back to his old school because things didn’t work out financially. So it’s been a long and hard road and I’d say that you shouldn’t enter a long distance relationship unless you can truly see yourself with this person for life. Obviously things can change and there’s no need to make a lifetime commitment so soon, but at the same time you do need to be committed. You need to be serious and you need to be patient and to have lots and lots of trust. Antonio and I Skype regularly – even while we’re both doing homework. We text every day and we talk on the phone a lot. But we also write each other letters; we send love notes back and forth every week. And although it sounds cheesy, we text each other goodnight every single night and I always wake up to a “Good morning beautiful” text. Just last month when I was having a rough week, he sent me an entire vase of fresh flowers and it completely made my day. Nice things like that make a big difference.

5) What’s your recipe for a good relationship?

Communication all the way. Talking to each other about everything, every concern or worry. It makes things 100 times easier. Respect is also a big one for me. Don’t put up with anyone who doesn’t treat you right. And you need to be honest with each other too. Honesty is essential. But so is laughter and having fun. Spontaneity is the spice of life! I’m also a firm believer that you need to be with someone who knows just what to do when you’re having a bad day. Antonio likes to make me dinners when I’m exhausted from work or school. And he’s always willing to give me a foot massage. Ladies, a guy who gives you foot massages is a keeper!

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6) What’s your favorite new fashion trend?

I am all over leather right now. But not just leather jackets and boots – I’m talking leather detailing on dresses, leather sleeves on a T-shirt, or leather trimming on a skirt. The material gives even the most ladylike pieces a major edge and I love that juxtaposition.

7) What’s your favorite way to de-stress?

This is bad, but I de-stress by shopping. Lately that’s been taking the form of online shopping. There’s just something about that rush, you know? But to be fair, my number one way to de-stress is hanging out with Antonio – there’s honestly nothing I’d rather do than just be with my best friend. Popping in a movie, making dinner together, and cuddling on the couch sounds like the perfect day to me.

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To hear more from Kathleen, head on over to her blog Kat’s Fashion Fix. She can also be found on Twitter (@KathleenHarper6), Pinterest, Instagram (@katsfashionfix_blog), and Facebook.

 

 

 

 

Signed up for ‘Kick Start Your Breakup” yet? – It’s Free!

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November 5, 2014
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How to Know When to Breakup: Making Future Plans

How to Know When to Breakup: Making Future Plans

Are you feeling confused about your relationship and wondering if you should breakup? My new video series ‘How to Know When to Breakup’, will help you figure out how and if you should end your relationship. In the second video of the series, I talk about another sign that it might be time to breakup–a resistance to making future plans.

Recap:

“Hey, this is Janelle Klander, creator of BreakupSchool.com and you are watching the “How to Know When to Breakup” video series to help you know when and if you should breakup in your relationship. In this video we’re going to talk about what it means when you start feeling resistance towards making future plans with your partner. Is this happening to you?

Alright, so let’s go back to the very beginning, when you first met. You were constantly making plans. You couldn’t wait to do and see things together. It felt right. Then all of a sudden it stopped feeling natural to make plans. In fact you’re not even sure you want to make plans past next week. At the same time you might be terrified to let go and you may have not wanted to admit any of this until just right now.

First, I want to let you know that what you’re feeling is completely normal. It’s hard to want to make plans with someone if you’re not sure you want to be with them. It’s not your fault and there really isn’t anything you can do about it. Most relationships don’t last forever. So if you feel like yours has an expiration date, then trust your instincts. You will know when it’s time to walk away. It may not be today, but it will probably be soon.

Has this happened to you? Comment below.”

But maybe you’ve watched the video and are still unsure about whether you should breakup or not. If that’s the case, sign up for a Free Relationship Consultation. Schedule yours today and I can help you figure out the answer to that once and for all.

Signed up for ‘Kick Start Your Breakup” yet? – It’s Free!

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October 29, 2014
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25 Things to Do For Yourself Post-Breakup: Part 5

25 Things You Can Do For Yourself Post-Breakup: Part 5

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Are you looking for something that can help you get through the pain of a breakup? Spending time on yourself after a relationship ends has proven to help with the healing process. To help you follow this advice, I’ve made up a list of things you can do for yourself after a breakup.

 This is the last week of the ongoing series “25 Things You Can Do For Yourself Post-Breakup” and these are therefore going to be my last suggestions to you. If you missed the previous weeks or would like to remind yourself of my other suggestions, head on back to weeks One, Two, Three, and Four.

To continue with our list, here are the final five things you can do for yourself after a breakup.

21. Spend time with a pet.

After a breakup, you are likely feeling pretty lonely, but spending time with a pet can help ease that loneliness.No matter what kind of animal you have, being with your pet will make you happy. And if you don’t have a pet of your own, you can always spend time with a friend’s pet or volunteer at an animal shelter. I know there are positions available which actually require you to pet bunnies and play with kittens.

 22. Plan weekend getaway

A weekend getaway could be exactly what you need to put your memories of your ex in the past. Hop on a plan and take a trip abroad if you have the money. If you’re like most of us, however, money likely isn’t something you’re swimming in. If so, you can always do something simple. For example: find a hotel, either locally or in the next closest city, and spend a weekend indulging in some you-time.

 23. Plant a tree

Be honest, when was the last time you did something for Mother Earth? If it’s been awhile, then head outside and plant a tree. It’s been proven that helping others, including the planet, can be a powerful method of getting over any source of pain or depression. It’s like volunteering, which is always good for the soul.

  1. Be creative

Or, if that’s not something you think you would enjoy, then try being creative for a day. This can mean doing anything. Did you ever play the piano as a child? Now’s the time to practice your skills. Have you ever wanted to learn how to knit? Making a scarf would be a good idea right about now. Do you like to doodle? Get out a pencil and sketch to your heart’s content. Does putting on makeup make you smile? Try out some new colors during your daily beauty routine. Honestly, there’s so many things you could do to be creative and the post-breakup period is a great time to indulge this impulse.

 25. Go for a bike ride

But, if nothing else on this list provides you with something to do after a breakup, then you can always go for a bike ride. There’s something about getting outside in the fresh air that can change your whole perspective on whatever is troubling you. Try it out for yourself if you don’t believe me!

 And this marks the end of the series “25 Things You Can Do For Yourself Post-Breakup.” If you look over all of my suggestions, you will doubtlessly find at least one thing you can do to cheer yourself up. Remember to keep an open mind as you go through the options and have fun with them. If you have to, remind yourself that trying new things after a breakup is a great way to get back out there and take charge of your life again.

However, if you’ve gone through and tried all of these options and still don’t feel any better about your breakup, you might want to talk to someone about what is holding you back. For those that need to talk to someone but don’t know who, I’m now offering Free Relationship Consultations. Schedule yours today.

Signed up for ‘Kick Start Your Breakup” yet? – It’s Free!

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